The Beat of Her Own Drum
I’m a working lady!

I promised to expand on the fact that I was commuting to an actual job. Sure, I have two small businesses that bring in a bit of extra money to support my hobbies, but I have been unable to operate in an actual job setting due to my disabilities.

That all changed when my sister-in-law’s daycare was in desperate need of assistance. Her and I had decided well before the facility was established that I would not attempt to work there out of respect for our great relationship and the very good chance that I would fail, just as I have with all past career endeavors.

I was confident in being able to handle a part-time position there as I would often help out on my way to and from the YMCA or whenever I was bored and wanted to do crafts with the children. I had many of the clearances that I needed in order to work with children and it just seemed like the right thing to do.

Overall in terms of physical and mental health, I’ve been doing outstanding. I have come a long way in my various personal journeys and my success in working at the daycare is a testament to that. I’ve been doing very well and I have no doubts about continuing to do well as I experience zero anxiety when thinking about work. Even though working with children can be a source of stress for anyone, there is quite a large difference between stress and anxiety.

I really feel as though this is where I’m supposed to be. I love working with children and the fabulous relationships that all of the employees have with one another make going to work a real joy.

Here’s to hoping for continued success!

Finally got a new pair of Chucks! I forgot how painful it is to break them in, though…

Finally got a new pair of Chucks! I forgot how painful it is to break them in, though…

Beautiful sunrise on my way to work! (Yes, I said work. More on that later.)

Beautiful sunrise on my way to work! (Yes, I said work. More on that later.)

Not dead.

Nope. I promise.

Sometimes I forget that this is a “tumblelog” and not something that I need to sit down with and commit to long posts on a regular schedule. I need to remember to pop in with my blurbs. See, now I’m months behind and nothing is blurb-able.

I’ll start with VSG happenings, I suppose. Everything is going well. I am down 80 pounds and the doctors are pleased. I joined the local YMCA and attend several different classes as well as a lifting regimen that my husband drafted up.

My family has been extremely supportive and I could not do this without them. That said, I am in desperate need of friends that are going through what I am. I need peers. If I need to, I’ll make a “casting call” type of post that I can tag appropriately in hopes that some new folks will find it and contact me, but maybe someone will see this as well.

Ow.

I had a feeling that time would fly. I was right.

I had my VSG on November 16th and after experiences with my past surgeries, I thought for sure I’d be ready to go back to “normal” by now. Normal as in back home and in some sort of routine.

Not so much. I got out of the hospital on the 17th and have been staying with my parents since then as they have those fancy beds that can bend at the head and foot to make sleep more comfortable. They also don’t have any stairs to fight with.

I miss my husband and our animals terribly and I might turn homicidal if I don’t get to have a bite of real food in my mouth soon. Pudding and broth is getting very old, very fast. I’m beyond ready to move on to applesauce and scrambled eggs.

And so, I wish time would fly just a little faster so that I can go on and experience my new normal.

I’d love to write more, but my much-needed pain medicine is telling me that it’s time to sleep.

Wow.

Things have been moving at break-neck speed and my mind is having a hard time keeping up.

My surgery will be scheduled at my last pre-op appointment at the clinic tomorrow, and I couldn’t be more terrified. By the sounds of it, it’s going to be very soon. I am beyond ready to do this and get on with a new and better life, but that doesn’t make it any less frightening.

I also received bittersweet news in the past few weeks. My brother and his wife are expecting their first child. One moment, I am positively thrilled to be an auntie and I just can’t wait for this baby to get here so I can love on it. The next moment, I’m sobbing uncontrollably. My emotions are so confusing right now, but I’m working through them with therapy.

Now, to see if I can manage to get some sleep tonight…

Epiphany: Part Two

I had a really good idea of how I wanted to wrap up this blog post, but I didn’t jot any notes down like I should have. Hence, most of those thoughts are gone.

I do, however, want to touch on the self-esteem issue that I mentioned previously. Not only do I need to hold more esteem for my work. I need to begin to value my appearance, which I have more or less not cared about for quite some time.

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Epiphany: Part One

Some of my readers know that I am a jewelry artist. Some don’t. That’s the problem. It’s is a huge part of my identity, you see, and it has been for nearly 10 years.

My creating and producing has gone on and off for all of those years, fluctuating with changes in my medication and general life events.

For the first time in… perhaps ever, my medications are balanced and life is definitely headed upward. So, why am I not creating?

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Mom came to help me paint my studio. It’s lookin’ good!

Mom came to help me paint my studio. It’s lookin’ good!

My brother, being a tard on FGN (Family Game Night). Yes, he did end up breaking the chair. His wife is pissed and I fear for his safety, frankly.
In other news, the term “Phase Unokub” was coined. This is when you have no idea if you are playing Phase 10, Uno, or Rummikub. At one point, we were accidentally playing a combination of all three.
And we weren’t even drunk.

My brother, being a tard on FGN (Family Game Night). Yes, he did end up breaking the chair. His wife is pissed and I fear for his safety, frankly.

In other news, the term “Phase Unokub” was coined. This is when you have no idea if you are playing Phase 10, Uno, or Rummikub. At one point, we were accidentally playing a combination of all three.

And we weren’t even drunk.